VII CORPS WAR COUNCIL

File: 970107_jun96_decls1_0014.txt
Page: 0014
Total Pages: 49

Subject: VII CORPS WAR COUNCIL                                           

Unit: VII CORPS   

Parent Organization: ARCENT      

Box  ID: BX000213

Folder Title: 7TH ENG BDE COMMANDERS CONFERENCE  13 APR 91                                                    

Document Number:          5

Folder Seq  #:          9









                HELPING SOLDIERS ADJUST TO THE RETURN HOME

                       RECONSTITUTING THE MARRIAGE

         1. Married soldiers should receive some guidance on what to
         prepare for in their return home. Helping them think about what
         changes have occurred in their families, helping them think aloud
         in a group setting of other married soldiers can enable them to
         understand and plan to cope with the changes. The following
         paragraphs illustrate some items for discussion.

         2. For six months the soldier has not been a daily participant
         in the family plan or decision making process. The family has
         developed a new way to make the decisions necessary in running
         the household. No one has had to consider what you wanted or
         allow for where you wanted to go. Some new methods of child
         discipline and new household rules have probably emerged.

         3. The wrong way to rebegin the relationship with your family is
         to immediately begin criticizing methods of discipline,
         housekeeping standards or money management. Household rules need
         to be given time to change. The new relationship of the husband
         and wife needs to be developed gradually. The independence that
         both partners--have experienced needs to gradually evolve toward
         mutual dependence again. In a big way, getting reacquainted with
         the spouse is similar to the original courtship - the way you and
         your spouse originally met and developed a'lasting relationship.
         Remember that,-it began then with some nervousness and a respect
         for the other!s differences of feeling, opinion and desires.
         This time there will be fresh differences and new compromises in
         your relationship will be necessary. "It ain't never gonna be
         like it was before.$$

         4. A healthy couple will identify the benefits of the'n6id
on the disappointments. You
         can expect some disagreement with your spouse. By not allowing
         open communication about the differences you can create a big
         marital conflict. A better approach would be to complement your
         spouse on their growth as a person. Let your spouse know you can
         accept some change in the marriage. You are still important to
         your family and their need to have you back is as great as your
         need for them. These needs will cause both of you to be able to
         settle differences, adapt to change, and discover the new ways
         that your family needs you. Most families not only survive the
         reunion but are improved by the experience.



         Incl 3

Document 49 f:/Week-24/BX000213/7TH ENG BDE COMMANDERS CONFERENCE 13 APR 91/vii corps war council:0102971552505
Control Fields 17
File Room = jun96_declassified
File Cabinet = Week-24
Box ID = BX000213
Unit = VII CORPS
Parent Organization = ARCENT
Folder Title = 7TH ENG BDE COMMANDERS CONFERENCE 13 APR 91
Folder Seq # = 9
Subject = VII CORPS WAR COUNCIL
Document Seq # = 5
Document Date =
Scan Date =
Queued for Declassification = 01-JAN-1980
Short Term Referral = 01-JAN-1980
Long Term Referral = 01-JAN-1980
Permanent Referral = 01-JAN-1980
Non-Health Related Document = 01-JAN-1980
Declassified = 02-JAN-1997