VII CORPS WAR COUNCIL

File: 970107_jun96_decls1_0015.txt
Page: 0015
Total Pages: 49

Subject: VII CORPS WAR COUNCIL                                           

Unit: VII CORPS   

Parent Organization: ARCENT      

Box  ID: BX000213

Folder Title: 7TH ENG BDE COMMANDERS CONFERENCE  13 APR 91                                                    

Document Number:          5

Folder Seq  #:          9










             HELPING SOLDIERS ADJUST TO THE RETURN HOME


                 BATTLE PLAN FOR GREETING THE KIDS

        1. Getting reacquainted with your children should be planned for
        as much as you planned for going to war. The first part is to
        accept the child as they are now; they are not the same as when
        you left them.

        2. Accept that@you have demonstrated to your younger children
        that you can not be continuously counted upon. You left once and
        therefore may leave again and can-not be trusted. Some children
        will feel very abandoned and be reluctant to invest too much
        feeling for you again. Accept that it will take some time for
        them to again trust that you will be there for them. Nightmares
        of being left alone or other scarry dreams are an expression of
        this fear. Wan 'ting to sleep in your bed again for a few nights
        to make sure you will be there can occur. Teenagers may be even
        more testy than when you left, as if to really see if you can
        accept then again, and to test if you still really care.

        3. Accept that your children will not necessarily just pick up
        where you left off in your relationship with them. Plan to spend
        some special time alone with each one of them. Ask the child for
        ideas about what they would like to do with that special time and
        help then choose one that is possible, then,follow through with
        the plan. Expect to engage in an age appropriate activity -
        playing "war and daddy comes home" in the  ',sandbox, or going for a
        hike in the woods. its important for each.,cliild to have a small
        piece of your undivided attention in order to feel important.
        Spending time with each child is the best way to support his/her
        self esteem.

        4. Accept that winning your family back to your ideas and ways
        of doing things is not like winning the war with Iraq - -d(Sillt
tack with blazing guns. You don't want them to lose,
        you want them to work together with you again. If you are
        aggressive they will probably respond in an aggressive way.

        5. if difficulties develop, accept that some family counseling
        from a professional can be useful. CRAMPUS benefits frequently
        pay for brief outpatient counseling services. Pastors have
        knowledge and family counseling skills. Accept that a few visits
        can pay big returns in helping your family get back on track.



        Incl 4

Document 49 f:/Week-24/BX000213/7TH ENG BDE COMMANDERS CONFERENCE 13 APR 91/vii corps war council:0102971552505
Control Fields 17
File Room = jun96_declassified
File Cabinet = Week-24
Box ID = BX000213
Unit = VII CORPS
Parent Organization = ARCENT
Folder Title = 7TH ENG BDE COMMANDERS CONFERENCE 13 APR 91
Folder Seq # = 9
Subject = VII CORPS WAR COUNCIL
Document Seq # = 5
Document Date =
Scan Date =
Queued for Declassification = 01-JAN-1980
Short Term Referral = 01-JAN-1980
Long Term Referral = 01-JAN-1980
Permanent Referral = 01-JAN-1980
Non-Health Related Document = 01-JAN-1980
Declassified = 02-JAN-1997